Welcome to the rest of my life?

I've always been fortunate to feel like my body was reliable. I could count on it to carry me where I needed to go, behave predictably, do whatever physical task I needed. I feel betrayed over the last few months. I've never had health problems before, and suddenly I've almost met my insurance deductible by April, and I am dealing with pain!

Some friends and I took a hike last week, I really felt that the next day!

I recognize my privilege here. There are people dealing with real, serious chronic pain every day, but I've never experienced this before! 

I've been dealing with hoarseness, sore throat and voice issues since September. It turns out I have vocal nodes, and am slowly working to heal my voice. 

Right now I am experiencing a mysterious foot pain. It's incredible how much foot pain effects your mood and energy. And yet I just have to take it easy, and wait to see if it goes away. 

More then ever before I feel it in my brain and body when I've drank alcohol the night before. Not the mega hangovers of a college days party, just a dull fuzziness, and physical heaviness, and some achiness. 

So I guess this is aging? Suddenly no longer being able to rely on my body like I once did. Having to pay closer attention to every little pang or sign from my body to be on the lookout for issues. 

I'm starting to notice a change in my skin, more grey hairs on my head, it's harder to lose weight, harder to stay up late. 

I'm still happy to be in my 30s, the wisdom and comfort in myself far outweighs the aches and pains, but this aging thing is starting to take it's toll. 

Clear Messages

Part of my mindfulness goals involve finding ways to do less. Be less busy. Be more intentional with how I spend my time.

Now my health is telling me the same thing. I've struggled with repeated sickness, a hoarse tired voice, and missing work for going on 5 months. I've been to the doctor, and eventually got a referral to an EMT.

He was delightful, gregarious and instantly sized me up with astonishing accuracy. "You are used to being able to do anything you want, and you aren't able to do that right now". He kept comparing my voice to Ferarri, in need of fine tuning.

Long story short, I have some small vocal nodes. He said it's nothing to be astounded by, and that someone who did not specialize in singers may not even had seen them. I also have some antibiotics to take to kick some minor sinusitis, and am supposed to call him back in a few days and let him know if I want allergy testing or a CT scan to determine if there is more making me unwell.

The message is loud and clear though. I need to be more conscientious about how I use my voice, and how I use my body.

I also received the first prescription I've ever heard of for voice lessons from a doctor.

Time to take care of myself and respect my instrument. And now, off to bed early.