Summer Goals - An Autumn Review

Found on Agate Beach, Port Orford

At the beginning of June, I wrote in my bullet journal 5 summer goals. All SMART goals even! Super achievable things I wanted to do with my 'off' time.


This summer did not turn out to have much off time.


1. Complete Always Hungry Solution Phase 1 CHECK!
2. Lose 7lbs by the end of August (3 months)
3. Put a poem to melody (write a tune)
4. Weekend away for Ben & I CHECK!
5. Blog every week


Let's reflect, I accomplished 2 out of 5 (sort of).

Eclipse shadows

I did successfully do the Always Hungry Phase 1 (with a tiny bit of Phase 2 food). It felt great to get back to healthy eating after a few months of making do with a lot of take out, processed foods and sugars and carbs. I even got back to running during this period of time. Unfortunately, immediately after finishing Phase 1, we spent a week with Ben's brother and most of the healthy eating went out the window. We were up in Salem partially for some family stuff, and also to play a gig for an Eclipse party! The eclipse was an incredible thing to witness, I can't express how glad I am I got to be in the path of totality, but in the mean time the celebrating got a little bit out of hand.


Going right along with not sticking to those eating plans, I did not lose 7 pounds. I was staying right around the same until August. Between travel, extreme heat (we had more then a week when we were in the high 90s and 100s) and many late nights (resulting in sleeping later) my exercise routing also fell to the likes of summer. Then, near the end of the month, the smoke from wildfires made running a literal health hazard. I've gained weight this summer, which means I'm nearly as heavy as I was before I joined weight watchers so many years ago in the first place. I've broken down and joined a gym near my house so the smoke won't stop me any more, and I'm back to tracking my food on weight watchers. Now just to re-break the sugar habit.

I simply didn't decide to sit down and write a tune. This terrifies me. I am so afraid that it will be hard, or I won't be good at it, or I won't like what I write. My brain runs in every possible direction to avoid being forced to write music. Despite the fact that I would love to perform my own music. I can't pin my brain down, but it's fear of mediocrity is strong, and my rational brain can't convince the scared little perfectionist inside that failure and writing crap is just part of the journey and that I can't get anywhere if I don't just start!

Wave watching on Agate Beach

Ben and I did a wonderful job of doing this this summer! First we spent a week with his brother, which was more about him spending time with his brother then us getting away, but it was a much needed time to just relax without the to-do list of home. We also enjoyed our camp out the night before the eclipse, though it was just one night, we had a romantic evening, and got to witness a once and a lifetime event together. The real trip though, was to lovely little Port Orford on the Southern Oregon Coast.

Port of Port Orford, Dolly Dock 

We stayed in an inexpensive motel with a lot of ...character. But had a blast exploring the little cafes, beaches, parks and historic sites the town had to offer. The weather was perfect, warm and sunny with clear skies during the day. Windy off and on, but not so much it was unpleasant.

Cape Blanco Lighthouse

We met with friends who had recently moved to Port Orford and are building a tiny house there, enjoyed the Crazy Norwegian toured the most westerly lighthouse on the Pacific and watched one of the only Dolly Docks in the world lift a boat out of the sea!

Port Oford Heads Viewpoint

The final goal needs no explanation. This is my first blog post since May, clearly I didn't blog each week. However, as the seasons turn, I'll make some new goals, and perhaps my resolve will fair better for the fall.

Welcome to the rest of my life?

I've always been fortunate to feel like my body was reliable. I could count on it to carry me where I needed to go, behave predictably, do whatever physical task I needed. I feel betrayed over the last few months. I've never had health problems before, and suddenly I've almost met my insurance deductible by April, and I am dealing with pain!

Some friends and I took a hike last week, I really felt that the next day!

I recognize my privilege here. There are people dealing with real, serious chronic pain every day, but I've never experienced this before! 

I've been dealing with hoarseness, sore throat and voice issues since September. It turns out I have vocal nodes, and am slowly working to heal my voice. 

Right now I am experiencing a mysterious foot pain. It's incredible how much foot pain effects your mood and energy. And yet I just have to take it easy, and wait to see if it goes away. 

More then ever before I feel it in my brain and body when I've drank alcohol the night before. Not the mega hangovers of a college days party, just a dull fuzziness, and physical heaviness, and some achiness. 

So I guess this is aging? Suddenly no longer being able to rely on my body like I once did. Having to pay closer attention to every little pang or sign from my body to be on the lookout for issues. 

I'm starting to notice a change in my skin, more grey hairs on my head, it's harder to lose weight, harder to stay up late. 

I'm still happy to be in my 30s, the wisdom and comfort in myself far outweighs the aches and pains, but this aging thing is starting to take it's toll. 

Clear Messages

Part of my mindfulness goals involve finding ways to do less. Be less busy. Be more intentional with how I spend my time.

Now my health is telling me the same thing. I've struggled with repeated sickness, a hoarse tired voice, and missing work for going on 5 months. I've been to the doctor, and eventually got a referral to an EMT.

He was delightful, gregarious and instantly sized me up with astonishing accuracy. "You are used to being able to do anything you want, and you aren't able to do that right now". He kept comparing my voice to Ferarri, in need of fine tuning.

Long story short, I have some small vocal nodes. He said it's nothing to be astounded by, and that someone who did not specialize in singers may not even had seen them. I also have some antibiotics to take to kick some minor sinusitis, and am supposed to call him back in a few days and let him know if I want allergy testing or a CT scan to determine if there is more making me unwell.

The message is loud and clear though. I need to be more conscientious about how I use my voice, and how I use my body.

I also received the first prescription I've ever heard of for voice lessons from a doctor.

Time to take care of myself and respect my instrument. And now, off to bed early.