Making Friends

When I moved to Salem four years ago I knew that some friendships would be tested, others fall away, and still others become stronger. I anticipated I'd need to make new friends too, in my new town.

Awesome group of friends, celebrating my birthday a few years ago.

When I returned to Eugene this summer I also anticipated that I'd find myself being invited to do things and having a full social calendar once again. In particular I imagined my close friends and I would hang out, get drinks go do things. I didn't really examine the reasoning behind this impression, it just felt like it would be so.

That's not what's happened. I adore the time I get to spend with Ben. I am so thrilled to be with him, and to be back in Eugene. But I'm lonely too.

Upon reflection, of the close friends I spent time with before moving, two have moved away, one's currently on tour working her dream job, and another doesn't seem to have a lot of time for friends or socialization right now.

I find myself lonely, and once again faced with trying to make new friends as an adult. I didn't expect that. So what is one to do when your close friends don't seem to be available?

Last time I put myself out there, auditioned for a play, went out to yoga classes. It feels strange doing that in my home town, and for all of my hard work last time, I'm not sure how many of those relationships I forged will bear the test of time. Maybe that's not the important part.

Makes me wish there was a tinder for female friends in their 30s.

New Beginnings

This is the classic 'fresh start' blog post. I'm looking for an outlet and focus for my efforts. I'm part way through a lifelong journey of self-discovery (doesn't that sound cliche), and I feel like I'm on the precipice of something new.

A handful of things have converged this September to place me poised for a new chapter of development.

• I've started out my 3rd year teaching with a lot of time on my hands (our numbers are very low), and feeling unsure of my next steps and challenges. I also applied and was chosen to  participate in a union sponsored group of Early Career Leadership Fellows, this opens up my imagination to what the future of my career might hold, be it teacher leadership, administration, or instructional coaching or research. 
• I discovered the book Always Hungry? over the summer, thanks to my doctor, and have begun to radically change my relationship with food, especially processed carbohydrates and sugars. This is reshaping my eating habits, and changing my body for the better. 
• My adorable vintage apartment is slowly becoming a souring deal. I'm getting less and less bang for my buck so to speak. I am pursuing a larger space to live in, which hopefully will afford some of the amenities I am doing without. 
• Despite seeking a larger space, I must accept that I have accrued the flotsam and jetsam of several years of solo living and must needs pare down my belongings. Especially my clothing. I have two separate scheduled
• My band, DarkHorse, which I've played with for a few years is having a personnel change and taking a short hiatus. I'll be stepping into a more of a leadership role because our band leader, and lead guitar player, who is also my boyfriend of nearly 3 years, is moving away to attend University.  It'll be some months before we play again.
• In his own quest for authentic self, he's also decided that staying together isn't going to work for him. Despite our mutual love and respect, I'll be finding myself single, and without a romantic partner. 
• I am auditioning for a straight play for the first time in years. Theater has waxed and waned as a huge part of my life and the prospect of acting on stage again has me nervous and excited. I've spoken with the director and am very optimistic about my chances, though regardless of if I am cast, I'll be helping with the production. I'll be taking advantage of the hiatus that DarkHorse is taking to commit fully to a play. 
• I keep telling myself I'm going to write a song. I need to stop being a person who is GOING to write a song and be a person who is writing a song. This video I stumbled across today is a large part of what has initiated this burst of activity.
• One of my primary hobbies over the last decade, The Society for Creative Anachronism, has felt somewhat forced and empty the last few years. I did some soul searching and trying new things at an event in September which told me a lot about what I do and do not want from the SCA. I feel like I'm making progress redefining how the SCA will play a role in my life and what inspiration and creative or social outlets I can find there. 

As a result of upheaval and renewal I will write. I will write for accountability, for reflection, for a sounding board, in order to share my discoveries with others, and to track my progress.